Tuesday, February 4, 2020

Faulty Conceptions of Love

I have never been a big fan of Valentine's Day.  I am sure that there are some deep seeded issues here like maybe in first grade I got snubbed or something, but there are no major events that I can remember that have darkened me to the day.  I do sometimes feel bad for my wife because she has never been able to brag about getting something on that day.  (for the record, I do try to make sure she has gifts throughout the year - I am not a monster).  I think the commercialism of the day has turned me off, but even more, I reject the notion of love that the day and our culture commemorate. 

Love has been completely misused.  And one of the reasons for this is that love has been turned inward on ourselves.  We have been told that we need to love ourselves and love ourselves first and it is only when you love yourself that you will be able to move forward and love others.  It is interesting that the Scriptures do not address this self-love with the same sort of admiration.   In point of fact, self love is assumed in the Scriptures.  We do love ourselves.  Paul tells husbands to love their wives as they love themselves (Eph. 5:28-29).  We are told that the second greatest commandment is to, "Love your neighbor as yourself."  Self love is something we do not need any help with.  It comes naturally.  And the Scriptures tell us that if our self love becomes to great it is idolatry.  If our love is expressed toward ourselves first and foremost, we are missing the boat because the first command is to love the Lord our God with all that we have.  And then the God whom we are to love first tells us that we are to express love toward one another.  In fact the commands of the New Testament alone makes this abundantly clear.  I will cite only one example, but there are many.

"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind, regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for our own personal interests, but also for the interests of others."  (Philippians 2:3-4, NASB)

Again note that it assumes self love.  What biblical love is is setting self aside for the benefit of another.  Where is that conception of love in our culture today?  Where is the understanding that love is fundamentally setting self aside willingly for the sake of others.  This is how we are to love our children.  This is how we are to love our spouses.  This is how we are to love our neighbors.  This is how we are to love our church family.  Love is about others.  Love is about self-sacrifice and service.  And there is no greater example than the love that Jesus shows to us.  When I compare His love to the love shown by the culture around me, there is no real comparison.  God is love.  He is the standard by which I am to measure that which I call love.  So there is some work to do.  Maybe I should get my wife something!

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