Love - the most misunderstood word in the English language?

 Valentine's Day is coming for those of you who celebrate those kinds of things.  Around February 14th each year, people celebrate their love for each other.  However this seems odd given that we have a divorce rate that some estimate to be around 40 - 50 percent.  The way that this is calculated is sometimes off, but think about this - which is more common - a 40 or 50th anniversary celebration or a divorce proceeding?  This is a bit startling. 

I remember back when I was young working through the conceptions then of what love was.  Today we see a progression of that movement to redefine love.  Let me explain what I mean and let me start with a biblical definition of love.

Love : the willingness to put someone else's needs before self.  There is a love for friends, family, spouses, but ultimately love is defined in God.  And God loved us without us being able to contribute to his needs.  This definition does not mean we do not love self - in fact we are to love others as we love ourselves.  The biblical understanding of love reminds us that we have a natural love of self that we need to overcome to serve.

Our culture takes this and turns it on its head.  We are to love self first.  In fact all other forms of love center on our need to love ourselves.  If we don't feel love, we need to end the relationship and find someone who makes our feelings better.  What is the impact when we center love on ourselves instead of in God and his definition?  I think I will only mention three things.  One - we become hyper focused on meeting our own needs instead of service.  Two - we self-justify our own bad actions and behaviors because we have an excuse based on our own needs not being met.  Three - we fail to realize accountability in love.

These three things cause immense problems for us when we are learning how to build relationships and impact not only marital love, but love in the body of Christ, and even love for the world around us.  May we as the Church of Jesus Christ keep focused on what true love is and how we are to imitate it.